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Has anyone made an site with reputation scoring, kind of like for dating

Hear me out...

From what I can tell, () online dating suffers from a wild disparity in men's versus women's experiences. Men often complain about messaging many women, tweaking their profiles, and crafting careful intros (where those are even an option these days). only to get zero attention or replies from women.

Women complain about men being assholes in large numbers. Seriously, if you don't know about this world, find a woman who does online dating and ask her what it's like. Women sometimes get hundreds or thousands of "likes" or "pings" and many, many intros. Their problem is, I think, filtering from (OK, now I'm imagining a curve for this LOL).

The signal is men who will ultimately treat them with respect and care, in addition to the more surface things like being sufficiently good-looking, successful, fit, etc. for the particular woman (don't judge men's shallow judgments are just as shallow).

Women have to judge whether each guy is an asshole--possibly a coercive or even date-rapey asshole--from very little information: a "ping," a "like," or an intro (which might not have many words). The profile... if you're a woman getting, say, 200 engagements a week from men who say they want to date you, do you really go carefully evaluate all 200 profiles You might not even read all the intros. You're flooded with requests. You know some might be safe and even OK, but you also know the majority won't be.

So what about reputational scoring The Stack Exchange model seems promising: after help for shiftedd from the R-Help mailing list to Stack Overflow, I think it's clear that the usable help offered to people struggling with R increased dramatically, as did the positivity of the help seekers' experience. You get very few replies on Stack Overflow, and the highest-rated answer is almost always helpful.

Let people rate each other for kindness, respect, non-misogyny, etc. on . Do not let them rate each other for looks, wealth, sex appeal, or sexual skill this would only drive away the people the site needs.

The ratings could go both (again, heteronormative, sorry) ways, but I think the greatest power would come from women rating men. If a woman got a message from Bob and could see that a couple of high-reputation women had gone on dates with him and given him the thumbs-up for kindness and respect, versus Charlie, who had no ratings from anyone, or low ratings from high-reputation women, well. That's a very different situation from the flood of Likes with no-shirt pics.

Would this make some men feel bad Yes. Many of them should feel bad, some would be unjustly painted as unkind. Oh well. They can rate women, too. And dating sites don't suffer from a lack of male users. If those who keep getting bad reviews from women decide to quit the site... good

This is my very serious proposal.

Q&A With Marion Holm of Trompoppie

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